High school love

High school love It all started back in high school my freshmen year I meat a wonderful guy who I feeling love with right away. I just knew that I would be with him forever. We were together although high school, we moved in with each other at an early age. me 19 and him 18 We was happy but things got between us and we just didnt get along that well any more, and we split up, but I didnt know at the time I was with child. By the time I found out he was with someone else and I kind of was to but when I when I told him about the baby I keep telling him it was his and then I would say it wasnt. I know I am wrong for that.I ended up getting married and lost contact with my high school love for about almost a year, we ended up seeing each other and I guess all the feelings was some what still there cause we got back together, even thought I was married I left my husband at the time and was back with my first love but it was only for a month and I went back to my husband. We then didnt talk for 3 years and by this time I had another little girl with my husband, but we was have a lot of problems, so we was calling it quits, and got divorced. Which when I went to my sisters to stay with her, she told me my first love was asking about me he is friends with her xboyfriend so he gave her his number for me to call him. And of course I did and when he seen my oldest daughter he realized she was his after all. Which leads up to now. We have be back together for almost 5 years now and some time it feels as if he dont really love me, I know he dose because if he didnt he would put up with my attitude which at times I know can be very hard to deal with, but I am a woman so I can be a bitch.He has done so much for me these past 5 years. He has helped me get through college and helped me be a better person and even thought I act like I do he still stays, when most men would have left already. He is a great father, to both girls even the one thats not his. He loves them girls just the same and when the youngest one got really sick he seemed to care more than I thought he would, I mean he was hurt by it. It didnt even seem like her dad was all that up set about it. I guess what I am really saying is I need to grow up and stop getting so up set because he hasnt asked me to marry him when it seems like all our friends and family are getting married, its just I really want to and I am tired of waiting, just because I am so selfish.I have never felt this way for anyone ever! I never had a man be so concerned with my health more than I am besides my father but he dont count. He loves me and I know he does I just have to get over my attitude before its to late and I lose him forever. Because I dont want to lose him. I know we will be fine, if we BOTH change some things¦I love you and always will you are my life and my one true sole mate we truly do belong together